Military Girlfriend

My boyfriend left 4th of January, he’s an engineer in the army and he’s fixing tanks out in canada at the moment. i live in England. It sucks so bad, he has finally got the flight details and they think it’ll be 19th April. Hope they don’t change it AGAIN. it’s not as bad because i get to talk to him on skype, the time difference is ridiculous though. Will be millions times worse when he goes to Afghanistan next year :( i’m struggling to find a job and don’t start uni till september so i’m always bored which makes it hard for me not to think about it :/ hope you’re doing okay xxx 

 Sometimes the military is not the nicest when it comes to changing their mind, in fact it can suck. What really matters though is your patience. I am not saying at all that you are not being patient enough but in the end that’s all you can really do. Just hope you get to be with him as soon as possible and look forward to the moments when you get to skype him.

As far as being bored, just do the best you can to distract yourself, but do not expect to never be bored or missing him. I believe that it is actually healthy to miss someone, just be careful of not missing him so much that you can’t do anything else. You are strong and you will get through it.

Military Girlfriend Out.

My boyfriend left for basic March 5th and didn’t actually start boot camp until the 16th. And he’s said that basic is 9 weeks so I’m just trying to go along with everything but it’s hard and I’m so mad that he was stuck there a week before he even should have been because they “weren’t ready for them”. I’ve been looking for a job and trying to stay busy with friends but I always find myself bored. It sucks and I miss him terribly.

I know how that goes. The economy sucks so its hard to use that as a distraction sometimes. In fact my job I had while my guy was gone only gave me around 4 hours a week so it was hardly a distraction. Try reading or writing in a journal, that always helped me. Video games are a great distraction as well. In the end you will always end up a little bored and lonely, its all about minimizing that time.

Military Girlfriend Out.

So I kinda touched on this in various posts, but I have never really talked about it specifically so here goes. When your guy is in basic he will be writing you letters. At first this is really hard because you have to wait a long long time for that first letter. When he is in reception waiting for the week to be over so he can officially start basic he may be able to call you, but he may not know the address to where he is going to be. When he is put into a company you have to put that on the letter so he doesn’t have all the information yet.

The time it takes for a letter to get to you could be anywhere from two days to two weeks. I know that sounds like forever, and trust me it feels like forever, but you will get a letter.

Some bases make it harder for your guy to be able to send you letters because they have certain rules to it. Some bases wait until they have a certain number of letters before they will send them out, others will only send them out on certain days of the weeks, and there are some that require your guy to give their sergants the letters. Now I know that last one didn’t seem like much, but keep in mind that your guy is nervous around these people and they don’t want to get on their bad side. Your guy might be hesitant to give his sergant the letter at first.

Bottom line: Be patient. You will get your letter from him. After all he wants a letter from you just as much as you want one from him.

Military Girlfriend Out.

When you are in a long distance relationship it is perfectly normal for you to experience stress, and not just from the relationship itself. When my guy was gone I had to work, go to my first year of college, try to find a new job because my current job was horrible, my dog died, my mom had surgery, and I had to drive my sister around whenever she wanted because she didn’t have a drivers license.

I’m going to tell you right now, no matter how strong you may think you are, it is going to effect you in some way. Now be careful when this happens because your guy will be going through the same thing, and it is dangerous for both of you to be stressed at the same time.

When this happens you won’t feel like you want to help him as much, and he will feel the same. Caution! You need to keep in mind that you both care about what they other person is dealing with, it’s just that you are so overwhelmed that that may be all that you can think about.

The absolute best thing that you can do in this situation is try your hardest to not take what he is saying the wrong way. If you do that you are much less likely to get into a fight, which is always nice.

Military Girlfriend Out.

I have decided to post my advice once a week in order to make sure that I can have this blog last as long as possible for those of you who need it. The post will be on wednesday around middday so keep your eyes open for it. :)

I will still be checking the blog every day so if you send me any questions or anything I will still respond and post as soon as I get it.

I just want to make sure I don’t run out of things to talk about :)

Military Girlfriend Out.

I have gotten this question so many times that I feel like I should officially post something about it. This way I can go into a little more detail and maybe help a lot of people by one post.

So what I did while my guy was gone was work and go to college. I worked as long as I could and as much as I could so I could get my mind off of him for a few hours a week.

 I am always better when I am busy so that helped a little, but what helped the most was me going to college. I was already planning on doing this before he left, but I’ve got to say that going to school and always having some homework to do or a test to study for really made it easier for me to get over him being gone.

 If you stay busy you can get your mind off of things for a while, and still be able to write to him and miss him. It just won’t be nearly as much. That is a very good thing because your friends, family, and frankly you will not be able to take months and months of you moping around the house with nothing productive to do besides write a couple of letters every week.

I also want you to consider your boyfriend in this. Would he want you to do nothing with your life while hes gone for months, or would he want you to do something for your future? You know he would want you to be productive with your life. Try one or both of these out when your guy leaves. I promise you won’t regret it.

Military Girlfriend Out.

Well, I’m going to join the National Guard soon as well as attend a military college. I am a female but I am extremely worried about my future. Joining the military has been something I’ve always wanted to do, so I’m not doubting my decision. However, I do want to get married and have kids. You might not know what to reply to me but I was just wondering if you think it’s a good idea that I get involved with a military guy. I met a great guy who’s going to the same school as me but I don’t know if I can handle joining as well as a bf joining. I just don’t know if it would work considering training and possible deployment and being stationed in certain places. What do you think? What would you do?

So this is a really hard one for me to answer. To me it would depend on the person I was in a relationship with. There are some people that aren’t going to be worth the trouble and there will be others that you will do whatever it takes to be together. It just depends on how you feel towards a person to really find out what you would do for them.

As far as a military relationship where both of you are involved in that way, I personally have no idea what I would do. I asked my guy his opinion on the matter and he told me that if you wanted to become an officer being in a relationship would be really hard, especially if you wanted kids someday. He told me that the odds of the two of you ending up in the same place are extremely slim, but if you are willing to make it work there is always a much better chance.

My best friend is in the Navy and she has successfully completed basic training and has moved to her further training. She is in a relationship with someone who is also in the Navy, unfortunately they are based in two completely different states. They feel like they love each other enough that they can make it through a long distance relationship for as long as it takes until they get to be together. They won’t get many opportunities, but to them just a few times a year is enough for them.

In the end its up to you. Good luck.

Military Girlfriend Out.

I see where you got some hate; let me just say this. There are spiteful women in this lifestyle. Trust me, I have had to deal with them as well. It doesn’t matter if it’s your boyfriend or fiance’ or husband, we all love them the same. I saw where an anon said if your boyfriend died, it would just be your boyfriend.. to that I say.. hell no. Ma’am, you were once a girlfriend and if you lose the person you love it doesn’t mean shit if you can collect their benefits or not because that is the ONLY difference in being a wife & girlfriend.. love is equal, benefits are not. I hate that you’re getting hate from these Army wives. I promise you that not all of us are like that. Also, I dealt with my husband being deployed when he was just my boyfriend & there is no way in hell  I would ever say that he would just be my boyfriend who was killed in action; no, it would have been the love of my life & I would have been lost without him. So there’s that again. I’m sorry.. I just can’t stand to see people attack within the community especially in such a harsh way to someone who claims nothing. If you need me, I’m here. 

Thanks for this! It really meant a lot to me :)

So, if your guy is like mine he already cusses a little when he is frustrated or excited, but not all that often. Be prepared girls, this is really going to change. Your guy is going to curse like his life depended on it no matter how he is feeling.

Keep in mind that this is not his fault at all. He has been put into an environment where everyone who talks to him about anything will most likely be cursing at him. Because of that he will become so immune to it he will not notice what he is doing when he is talking to you. To him cursing is just part of a conversation while he’s gone, and that’s perfectly okay.

When this first happened with me I was really surprised and I wasn’t quite sure what to say about it. I’m not one of those girls that is easily bothered by this, but the magnitude was just so great it caught me off guard.

If you are bothered or uncomfortable by what he is saying just let him know that you aren’t used to it and he will probably think before he speaks to you. Just keep in mind that no one is perfect so it may take a while for him to get into the habit of talking to you instead of everyone he is with.

Military Girlfriend Out.

So for some of you girls who have really close friends that you feel can relate to you on every level I have some bad news. If they haven’t been in a long distance relationship of any kind, military or not, they will have a very hard time relating to you and in some cases helping you through it.

This of course is no fault of their own. They just either haven’t tried to make a long distance relationship work, or haven’t even been presented with the chance. Just keep in mind that they want to help you, but they may not be sure about how to go about doing that.

Listen to my advice on this. I have been the girl with her guy gone and before that I have been the best friend of someone in a long distance military relationship. I wanted to do everything I could for my friend. I wanted to let her talk about it or vent or whatever she wanted, but the problem was I didn’t want to bring him up for fear that it would upset her. Your guy being gone is going to be tough for your friends too, not as tough of course, but they will still have to change some things.

Girls, when your guy leaves you should tell your friends whether or not it is okay to bring him up in conversation for a while. If you decide that you don’t want to talk about him until you are comfortable with it let them know that in the beginning as well as when you change your mind.

In the end just remember. They want to help you, they are just nervous that they might hurt you if they say the wrong thing.

Military Girlfriend Out.

If you have anything in particular you would like me to talk about let me know! I don’t care if I’ve already talked about it or not I will cover it again as well as do my best to make sure I don’t say the same thing. I may be the same person, but I can still give you a different perspective on something you may be going through.

I know it seems like I have a lot to talk about, but I only have so many things that I thought were important. If you want me to keep helping you you should tell me what needs to be covered.

Thanks for following! I never expected to have so many of you follow this and I’m glad I’m helping.

Military Girlfriend Out.

Questions or Comments? Message Me.

I don’t care how nice and fair you think your guy is, when he enlists into any branch of the military he will believe that that branch is the best one, and all the others have some huge fault.

This is perfectly normal, but I am writing about it because when it first happened to me it was a shock. Especially since he was considering multiple branches until he decided on the Army Naitonal Guard.

Your guy will talk about how lazy the other branches are and how they get more chances at success in the military than the branch he is in does. Some of this is true, and some of it…well he just wants to vent.

Just be prepared for this. If you get offended by something he says just let him know and I’m sure he will respect you to not talk about it as much, but he will talk about it at some point.

My advice, just agree with him and learn about what he is talking about. If you give him reasons to see that they are all equal in their own ways he may not be as frustrated.

Military Girlfriend Out.

When your guy is in basic he will have very little time to eat his food. I’m sure you already know that, but I still need to say it for those of you who didn’t know that. What you may not know is that the food he will be given is horrible.

The food is sorted into different colors that show the health of the food. For example something really healthy for you would be in the green catagory and things that are very unhealthy for you are in the red catagory.

Now this does not does change when he goes to his traing after basic, but what does change is you can send him care packages containing all the goodies that he loves. My advice to you is to send him some home made stuff so he has some good food for a while.

The next time you see him from when he is at basic you may notice a change in how much he eats, and how fast he eats it. I’m telling you he will become a bottomless pit and will eat so fast he will be done before you are even half way through your meal. This is okay for him to do I’m just letting you know as a word of warning.

Military Girlfriend Out.